Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The "Rapist" Story

So, the story of the “rapist” goes like this:  Met him at a party, turns out he recognized my last name.  Go figure, right?!?!  Ugh!!!  Once he learned my name, he was VERY interested.  And the reason he was interested?  He dated one of my very distant cousins, a cousin that I hardly even knew.  And as I would find out much later, “dated” turned out to be “dating”.  They had a very tumultuous relationship and were pretty much still together when “Danny” and I first met.  He of course stated otherwise.  And I had no reason not to believe him.  I was 20, and VERY naive.  This was my first boyfriend.  The first guy I ever brought home to my parents.  And I was really falling for him.
Things seemed to be going really well.  My parents seemed to like him too.  But after about a month of dating, my dad got an early morning phone call that changed my life for about a year or so.  The distant cousin that had dated “Danny”, had charged him with beating and raping her and he was now in jail.  I had been with him the previous evening, but was home around 10pm or so.  After I left, he left to go see her.
To make a very long story short, my parents told me that I was no longer allowed to see him and if I did, they would kick me out of the house.  Well, I did continue to see him.  I believed that he was innocent, I believed with all of my heart that I loved him, and I stood by his side.  My parents found out and then I moved out.
The case never went to trial due to lack of evidence.  She at some point admitted that she had lied and that he never beat or raped her.  He joined the military, we got engaged, and soon after we broke up.  And in the long run, he ended up marrying that distant cousin of mine that accused him of rape.  They had a child and then eventually divorced!
So that’s THAT story!  No bueno at all!!! 


  1. Julie MontgomeryJuly 12, 2011 at 6:04 PM

    Ugh... remembering all this makes my heart hurt. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but as you said in another post, I guess it was just part of your journey. Many of us made questionable decisions in our 20s... (cough, Cam, cough.)

  2. Yep, it really is part of our journey Julie. No matter how horrible it felt at the time, I look back and don't even recognize that 20 year old girl. I was a completely different person back then. But like you said, we all made questionable choices at some point in our lives. But they help us to grow and become more of who we're meant to be!

  3. Sigh....the good ol' days!! haha! I remember this so clearly! This is one of those situations where we should be grateful for "unanswered prayers"! I can only imagine you were praying & hoping that you'd end up with "Danny". Thank goodness you didn't!

  4. Was this when you moved in with us??

  5. Dawn,

    I was TOTALLY praying that he and I would be together. So happy that prayer went unanswered!


    It wasn't right after that, but it was probably within that year or so. :)


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